Korean drama Makers seem determined to wring as many tears as possible from the viewers' eyes.. Recently watched a Korean movie, Wedding Dress and it turned out I cried a river hahaha! Why so sad? Hmmp! Go-Eun to Sora: You are a present to me, Am I a present to you?

Haruki Murakami's Quotes Compiled

Everyday, I fall in love with the works of Haruki Murakami from short stories to full-on novels. It feels like the beginning connects the ending. Every lines is a highlight. "Why do people have to be this lonely? What’s the point of it all? Millions of people in this world, all of them yearning, looking to others to satisfy them, yet isolating themselves. Why? Was the earth put here just to nourish human loneliness? "Anyone who falls in love is searching for the missing pieces of themselves. So anyone who’s in love gets sad when they think of their lover. It’s like stepping back inside a room you have fond memories of, one you haven’t seen in a long time." "Lost opportunities, lost possibilities, feelings we can never get back. That’s part of what it means to be alive. But inside our heads – at least that’s where I imagine it – there’s a little room where we store those memories. A room like the stacks in this library. And to understand the workings of our own heart we have to keep on making new reference cards. We have to dust things off every once in awhile, let in fresh air, change the water in the flower vases. In other words, you’ll live forever in your own private library." "Silence, I discover, is something you can actually hear." "Every one of us is losing something precious to us. Lost opportunities, lost possibilities, feelings we can never get back again. That’s part of what it means to be alive." "Spend your money on the things money can buy. Spend your time on the things money can’t buy."

No ordinary love.

It's past 12:00 o'clock in the morning and all I can hear is the buzzing sound of the airconditioner in my room. Thoughts are plunging. And yes, writing is something I miss the most. I browsed old "stuffs" especially during college and it came to me that for the past five years, my life is still the same. Standing in the same position. Same circumstances.In short, it really gets me now how I lived a life in such a routine with no twists whatsoever. What I hate is that I miss the old days, my old self which I should not at the first place because if then, it only means my now is pretty ugly than my yesterday. That is not good. At all. Shifting a gear, I am in love with a guy. This love I have no idea. He is my kind of a person. But does he feels the same? Sometimes, it's yes and some days I'd say No. This relationship is getting closer to blossoming for two years (November 4 to be exact). However, the awkwardness measures greatly. Finding myself talking to "me" asking why is it so hard to talk to him and the feeling is actually mutual. I'm very much open but he isn't. I reached the point when I stopped asking how his day was since I only get the same answer everyday. Five minutes is too long to him, I guess. Not only when he is at work but the same thing happens when he is with me. The strength of the connection is below average when I want to believe it's excellent. Reality punches me on the face. Being together for nearly two years but I think we only had two months at the least "being there for each other." I know that it is pitiful! We are not the usual 'lovers.' Remembering how we become us. I find at fault here with all that has transpired. It's me to blame. Afterall, I never gave him the chance to prove himself for well, a little more time. It was an easy beginning so to speak. I regret it somehow as he should have experienced crossing a river with great currents before breathing a fresh air in a place where he now enjoys. Failure in him causes my own failure. It's two-way. You are in love with someone who isn't there with you. Until now, that is quite difficult to ponder. When you are distant, your mind is blowing with several thoughts. Sometimes, it would consume you but your choice if you let it cloud ☁☁ your beautiful mind. You missed your everyday conversations, although on his part, he calls me everyday. We have a 7-hour time difference. My night is his day. My day is his night. We get to talk for 3 minutes at the least and 30 minutes at the most everyday. That is painfully tolerable. But no matter what you do, the ache seems to stay. You need the acceptance of this getting last for an unknown time. High hopes that he won't feel that calling me is an obligation to do. All I aspire is a conversation that is non-obligatory and trying-hard in nature: when you feel like talking not because you feel alone in some place and you just need to hear her to be with her. That's all. Simple as that. Being in love because you are bored and for the sake of being rated of having that someone in your life is not love. You might want to think again. I remain loyal just a like a dog following his master. With his line of work, proving to staying loyal is a lot of convincing to do. When he is there and you are here, there shall be a shared trust. Learned about it during the ongoing process. But this trust is like a circus. You feel both positive and negative regard about everything. Things, whatever that is, always provide you with options. It all depends upon what options to take; the key to making yourself miserable or a single drive on a seven-lane road.

How am I doing now?

Navigating gracefully the tricky terrain of being an adopted child. Yeah!

Unconditionally

I understand now how unconditionally applies to the equation of love. No matter how many braces and brackets into it, you just have to include them all to finally secure the right answer. Shouldn't be taken for granted because it will always be the sum of it. Arguably, what is happening is about gamble and taking risk. Only that sometimes, you come across to the person who brought nothing but himself. It is a million in zero. What else can I do? You do not want to easily take that part that makes you whole. Sadly, though, there is sure in unsure and maybe unsure in being so sure. Afraid I might be, it is the road I chose to walk on. I will continue and whenever I get weary and tired, I will have my rest. That kind of rest which I deserve. Thirsty for that so probably, I get to have my own share someday.

WHAT IS IT?

oh well, lately i had started this fascination to collect watches. Maybe to remind myself that time is important. Never mind the price. I just want to own it. No hesitations, only that i had to spend so much time selecting which is which. Bought this on February 28, 2014 and simply ❤ my new TH watch eh?! additionally, for the record, so many things happened to date minus the expenses HAHA! and to think that this is only just the first quarter of the year. looking forward to the next months to come and its brought opportunities and surprises. :) :) :)

reason

take me so far away from this place where my heart can breathe somewhere i can believe again give me somethin that time cant erase coz losing you is taking too much losing you is taking too much tell me there's a reason for love. ♥

xyz

Wrap me around so I won't let go. You are a piece I don't want to be added in my growing list of missed opportunities. Hold on, please, will you? 

I've been alone all my life. Typical life of an only child. What I know is how to please myself, create and define my own happiness. My happiness is others' sadness. That's where I find the beauty in everything. It is always a mystery of how that sadness tastes euphoric to me. Could it be real? Or it's just a feeling? 

The Art of Hacking: Inside the Government Agencies

As I browsed my facebook account dated September 27, 2012 at about past 12 midnight, a friend posted a note notifying the public that the websites of Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas http://www.bsp.gov.ph/ (BSP) and http://www.mwss.gov.ph were hacked. Well, she seemingly adheres to the uncanny act of this hacker, I should say! I value the freedom of expression as much as the Filipino people do. I praise the government if there is something worthy to be praised of and so I, too, can criticize and scrutinize. What is freedom, afterall? Presently, the Legislature passed a senseless and personal gratification bills. They consciously forget to introduce ones which sincerely be of valuable to the citizenry because "I" matter, hence, shall be considered forthwith. 

The mere act of the brave soul is astounding. This is a shouting-out-loud freedom of a concerned and politically cognizant individual whose fundamental objective is to thwack the Philippine Government for its abysmal performance. Lo siento, but frankly speaking, I am saddened by the fact that the Philippine Government never stops deceiving its people. 

I support this hacking agenda!! Booooo to the administration of Noynoy Aquino!!!! Duuuuuuh!

The Ruins

The structure of the Mansion of the sugar Baron Don Mariano Ledesma Lacson (1865-1948) is of Italianate architecture with neo-Romanesque columns. In New England, they often were homes to ship's captains with shell-like crowns around the top of the mansion. It is believed that the father of Maria Braga, who was a captain of his own ship, had much influence in the design and architecture of the mansion. It was built after the death of Maria Braga (+1911) and became the residence of their unmarried children. It was the largest residential house ever built at that time. The structure met its sad fate in the early part of World War II when the United States of Armed Forces in the Far East (USAFFE), then guerilla fighters, burnt the mansion to prevent the Japanese forces from utilizing it as their headquarters or garrison. Despite the inferno it underwent, bringing down the roof and the solid wooden floors, the structure has withstood the ravages of time mainly due to the oversized steel bars and the A-grade mixture of concrete used in its construction.

Don Salvador Benedicto, Negros Occidental

Looking for and enjoying beauty is a way to nourish the soul. the universe is in the habit of making beauty. There are flowers and songs, snowflakes and smiles, acts of great courage, laughter between friends, a job well done, the smell of fresh-baked bread. Beauty is everywhere.

~Matthew Fox

Just, amazing! Visiting the Baguio City of Negros Occidental... You've just got to love the place! Ahhhmazing work of God... ♥♥♥

Freedom to Fall

I want to be part of his family, no question! Kismet has been playing with us, though. Now, I get to know the meaning of "waiting in vain." There is no assurance he will come back but I anticipate a 'positive return.' I lost someone whom I can see myself with all through my lifetime. He is someone I can bring home and introduce to my stringent parents. I won't get tired of holding on to something that is uncertain (unrequited love????). I have with me my soaring hopes! Please, bare with me. :D

 A promise to self: If he comes back, there'll be no doubts at all. 

Years of doubts had passed. These times I am so sure of, lost track of him.                                                                                             

The hardest thing is to 'begin with...'

Since these past few weeks, confusion arises. I left my heart somewhere and it longed to go back there. Let me leave this statement.

Proceed.

How can I not remember this day? It's February 27, 2012. I'd say, strike three! I'm not lucky on the road right now.. You know what I mean? :( :( Maybe, I'm not in the mood to drive! Sus Mio! What a shame! *-* I don't know whether I should laugh or be ashamed of what happened. I will just sleep perhaps to not remember everything.

Golly! I need a vacation alone but, when? Desperately seeking for my own self and it can only be established once I go. Wish I could own time.

Sounds different, but only I, could interpret. Shisez Shisez Shisezz!!!!

The girl who seemed unbreakable--broke
The girl who seemed so strong--crumbled
The girl who always laughed it off--cried

and the girl who would never stop trying--Finally gave up

Leap of faith

So many things happened unexpectedly. I had been slapped with painful moments in life. My world was almost on the ground. I asked Him for that simple happiness, but failed to grant it. From that moment on, I learned to forget God. I did not take Him seriously. It showed upon my actions in dealing with the daily life. Shallow the cause may be, but the effect of it in the truest sense of the word was blatantly the greatest mistake done not to myself, but to the people I dearly loved. I was carrying a heavy burden, then. I am struggling. Indeed. I got tired with life. I'm searching for my purpose but I was so puzzled knowing the significant me.

People are easily deceived, or maybe it is because I am the master of pretending. No one dared to ask if I'm "suffering," too. They tend to believe that I own happiness. Whereas, I was always questioning if it was made available to me. Looking so downcast as they failed to pinpoint which is which. Eyesight is different from insight. What's inside my heart, only I can see. I've seen holes, stitches and wounds that are yet to mend but it still remains whole and fully functioning. Ironically, as such, I taught myself a lesson, one at a time, that God has been good to me ever since and will always be. A realization that life has its up's and down's, that people will constantly in search for the meaning of life but would never grasp its eloquence. At least, just appreciate its "mysteriousity!" (if there's such a word!!!).

Suddenly, I became thirsty for God's words. Admittedly, I am not a Bible-reading fanatic. I quench my thirst through listening to healing/enchanting soaking music and was introduced to believing in God again. My faith was now in control. It is where I established my substantial relationship with Him. Everything's under repair was repaired. My spirit has been refreshed. For the first time, I value my worth.

After years of disregarding my faith, presently, a lady here is happy enough to live the life as it should be. God accepted, embraced and openly welcomes me back to paradise.

Back to square one, ON THE VERGE OF CONSTRUCTING MY LIFE at Elysian Fields.

I keep on searching for the meaning of life. Still.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/traversing-the-inner-terrain/201010/beginning

It says it all. I mean, ALL.

The true effort can sometimes be found in letting go.

You need space, I'll give you a period.

While they hold hands, I held mine.