Leap of faith

So many things happened unexpectedly. I had been slapped with painful moments in life. My world was almost on the ground. I asked Him for that simple happiness, but failed to grant it. From that moment on, I learned to forget God. I did not take Him seriously. It showed upon my actions in dealing with the daily life. Shallow the cause may be, but the effect of it in the truest sense of the word was blatantly the greatest mistake done not to myself, but to the people I dearly loved. I was carrying a heavy burden, then. I am struggling. Indeed. I got tired with life. I'm searching for my purpose but I was so puzzled knowing the significant me.

People are easily deceived, or maybe it is because I am the master of pretending. No one dared to ask if I'm "suffering," too. They tend to believe that I own happiness. Whereas, I was always questioning if it was made available to me. Looking so downcast as they failed to pinpoint which is which. Eyesight is different from insight. What's inside my heart, only I can see. I've seen holes, stitches and wounds that are yet to mend but it still remains whole and fully functioning. Ironically, as such, I taught myself a lesson, one at a time, that God has been good to me ever since and will always be. A realization that life has its up's and down's, that people will constantly in search for the meaning of life but would never grasp its eloquence. At least, just appreciate its "mysteriousity!" (if there's such a word!!!).

Suddenly, I became thirsty for God's words. Admittedly, I am not a Bible-reading fanatic. I quench my thirst through listening to healing/enchanting soaking music and was introduced to believing in God again. My faith was now in control. It is where I established my substantial relationship with Him. Everything's under repair was repaired. My spirit has been refreshed. For the first time, I value my worth.

After years of disregarding my faith, presently, a lady here is happy enough to live the life as it should be. God accepted, embraced and openly welcomes me back to paradise.

Back to square one, ON THE VERGE OF CONSTRUCTING MY LIFE at Elysian Fields.